Thomas J. McFeeley Communications

I don’t like conflict.

I mean I love to debate meaningless things: Whether a Sugar Daddy is a candy bar (It is, the stick is for convenience); whether cats can prefer one food over another (you can’t prove it; preference is a human word/concept cats can’t communicate; guess away though); whether the designated hitter is necessary (It’s not; pitchers should hit).

But I hate fighting.

Fights themselves, obviously, are uncomfortable. But the atmosphere after a fight, or during an ongoing longer-term disagreement, has everyone walking on eggshells.

Debbie Mercer, a former volunteer at Angel Valley retreat center, is testifying on egg shells today in the James Ray manslaughter trial.

Tom Kelly, one of the defense attorneys, is vehemently objecting to 30-40 percent of questions and replies. Obviously, her testimony about the conditions of people in sweat lodges at Angel Valley (both James Ray’s and others) is potentially very damaging to Mr. Kelly’s case and excluding as much of it is in the defense’s best interests.

So when we arrive at a portion in which almost every question is objected to, the witness is confused with his or her eyes darting around. Their answers are tentative and cagey. And as a viewer, I feel as if we are not getting the “whole truth” as we were promised.

Since Judge Warren Darrow has allowed a limited amount of evidence about “prior acts” to be admitted earlier this week, the prosecution has seized that opportunity; the defense quite obviously is sitting on the edge of its seat waiting for what it believes to be inappropriate questions and evidence to be presented to the jury.

The stakes are just as high as they have always been. Three families (and thousands of friends) have lost loved ones in this horrific story. But the trial, as you hope ever y official proceeding in this country does, started civilly with great respect for the process. The state respects the court and the defense and vice versa. The fate of one self-help guru (and in a way the future of the industry) sits in the balance.

But when the judge admonishes the parties that “personal attacks” won’t be permitted, everyone knows a new, critical level has been reached. The case is expected to last another couple of months. With no love lost at this point, every day should be tense and very charged.

But let’s hope that the truth is the real winner. That witnesses are able to testify despite their discomfort and fear. And that everyone pays respect to the three victims who died; and remembers there are dozens, perhaps hundreds of other victims. And despite our differences, and our fighting, that we hold them up a little bit higher than our enemies.